Quickly!

Howling fantods, Batman!
This is strange: DFW rated by his students?
In any case, are any of these real? I dunno.
My gang of four (elf, ranger, dude with a sword, and dwarf) were in the Mines of Moria until late so I'm tired at work... Dietcoking myself to get through the pile of paperwork...
Last night I went to a taco stand on Vine and had a couple chicken tacos. The yellow sauce didn't look spicy to my eyes. And it didn't hit me that it was spicy until I got into my car and my tongue lit up like Fallujah. Sweat started pouring down my forehead. I pulled my car over into a parking lot and drank water. After the first bottle of water, I had another bottle of water. Unbuttoned my shirt so I could breathe and then headed home. So if I have a stomachache today, I know it's not an ulcer but just me being stupid with hot sauce.
I keep trying to listen to the Elliot Smith posthumous album and I can't. I wish I could say it's cause it's incredibly sad to know this is his final album (unless he becomes the Tupac of melancholy folkpop). But it's not. No, the album has all this buzzing and discord before and between songs, which my ears don't particularly enjoy. I don't need 30 seconds of feedback before the melody kicks in, just like I don't need Clarence Clemmons doing a sax solo/interruption on nearly every great Springsteen song that's not on Nebraska. In any case, we can discuss Clemmons on another day. Will try the Elliot Smith album again, but just don't have a lot of patience for the music I listen to while commuting. Maybe I should just put it on the headphones and listen to it at home straight-through. 'Cause every other Elliot Smith album I own, I really love ("Rose Parade" is one of the best songs. Ever. If you disagree, you're wrong.)
Just got an eyelash out of my eye and made a wish. Um. If it came true, hot sauce can't hurt me. Blazing hip hop and r&b, Eric

P.S. Why do people at culinary establishments sometimes cut open with English muffins with a knife and not pry them open with a fork? This ruins everything great about English muffins.

P.P.S. Apparently George Saunders is a pretty awesome prof. who happens to also be an awesome writer.