WHOLE FOODS

Last night, Eric and I caught a great double bill: JOHNNY GUITAR & RANCHO NOTORIOUS. I picked him up from his office an hour before the first screening. En route to the theater, we brainstormed dinner options and settled on dining at Whole Foods on La Brea and 3rd. I hadn't eaten at a supermarket in a long time so this was a welcomed alternative. Whole Foods as y'all know is overpriced but generally the quality is pretty good. Not necessarily worth it, but at least you know what you purchase is labeled properly. Plus, you get to pat yourself on the back by patronizing an establishment that is powered by solar energy and sells water bottled by a company that invests a percentage of their profits in projects that help bring clean water to communities spread throughout Africa. So yeah, expensive but there's some good things about it.
We got our food---a pound of Israeli couscous for me, chicken teriyaki rice bowl for E---and eyed the dining section. When I saw our options, I turned and almost asked Eric if he wanted to eat in the car. You see, the Whole Foods on La Brea is both a supermarket and a shelter for homeless bag ladies and very masculine transvestites. Two homeless bag ladies---one sprawled on two chairs, exposing her swollen, distended, scarred, boil-rich legs---took up a long table each. They looked pretty content. The third table was occupied by a young couple: we could've sat next to them, but that meant that one of us would've been stuck sitting directly across from, in plain view of a very tall, very masculine tranny on table four. And I didn't want that for me and I didn't want that for E. I mean, this transvestive was SCUURRY. She had a shock of black wavy hair, super defined cheekbones and jawline, and a hauteur about her that reeked less of arrogance than of viciousness.
Eric and I squeezed into a small corner and at our food quietly. I'm not saying Whole Foods should police the dining area, but at least tape off a section for the weirdos so that us limousine liberals can enjoy our overpriced salad bar dinner in relative comfort.

LOVE
ALEX