GETTIN' ON

Friday morning, I spoke to my parents who are visiting Korea. They met with the doctor who supervised the battery of tests I underwent a month ago. My mother gave me the basic run down:
1. I have above average levels of mercury in my blood. I should stop eating salmon/tuna for a while and switch to mackerel. (unlikely to happen as mackerel is too oily for me to cook at home unless I want to spend the rest of my life scrubbing stovetops. Plus, I have 5 salmon filets in the freezer that I ain't gonna throw away just because there's poison coursing through me right NOW.)
2. I should cut back on coffee to one cup a day because my bone density/calcium levels are low/depleted. (that too is unlikely as I am addicted to coffee. Plus, I consume calcium rich foods like an osteoporotic nana!)
3. I have to eat less pork and eggs because my cholesterol levels, though fine, need to be minded. (GET OUT OF TOWN! Ain't no way I'm giving up speck, lardo, pork belly, pig's feet, prosciutto, scrambled eggs in the morning, Jean Georges' soft boiled egg with creme fraiche and caviar, WD-50's 58 minute poached egg in parmesan broth, no way no way NO WAY!)
4. I should eat more greens. (I consume greens like no one else's business. just let me cook for you and you'll see, or you can just look at my black deuces some time.)
Saturday night I took an old high school friend out to dinner for his 27th birthday. At one point in the evening, he told me one of our other friends from high school is sick (it's not a cold). Then this morning, I woke up and my legs weren't working right probably due to the fact that I didn't stretch after playing 2 hours of ultimate yesterday.
All four---test results, 27th birthday, sickness, creaky joints/sore muscles---confirm what I've been dreading for a few years now: we're getting on. 27 wasn't a big deal for JMandel, but for me, when I turn 27 in a few months, I'm most definitely going on the walk of reassessment. It's more a physical thing, getting old that is. Mentally I still feel like a 12 year old, which is coooooooooooooool.

LOVE
ALEX