A WEDDING

Yes! I've been dying to go to a wedding for a couple of years now & despite my admonishments, none of my friends have been very accomodating. Weddings just seem like fun & here's why. At weddings, people are ridiculously happy so even if you're an awfully ugly person people will be exceedingly cordial to you so in general you me and everyone else at the wedding will feel right and accepted and more confident than usual. If that's the case, then you'll do things you normally wouldn't do like hit the dancefloor and once you find yourself on the parquet, looking like whitey ain't no big deal because people are too ridiculously happy to pass judgement. How wondeful is that? Also, there's gonna be a solid number of new faces at the reception, new faces that you'll inevitably be attracted to and have a reason to interface with when the window of opportunity presents itself (usually under the discoball). This pool of ridiculously happy non-judgemental new faces I think is a reservoir that can only feed one's libido and render one on-the-hunt. So imagine yourself in a room with people who are: A) ridiculously happy B) exceedingly cordial C) non-judgemental D) new but somehow connected E) pretty fucking on-the-hunt horny. How sweet does that scene sound! So that's basically why I think weddings are awesome and basically why I've been begging my fucking lame ass friends to get their asses in the chapel so individuals like yours truly can have a great time on someone else's dime!!
On Saturday night my dream came true. No, no one I knew got married. No, I worked a wedding reception for job number deux. Sure it was a 5pm-1am shift. Sure staff meal wasn't till midnight. Sure I got MAJOR ass chafe. But it was all worth it. People were ridiculously happy, exceedingly cordial, non-judgemental,etc, etc. It was some straight up E-Harmony shit. Wow. When the newlyweds flew in through the salon doors and snaked their way through the crowd and onto the dance floor for their first dance---they obviously rehearsed it; when I get my ass married in the next twenty years, I'm gonna wing it and if my wifey-to-be can't deal with that, then I know I've made a poor decision---I got all warm inside and emoted something treacly which is so not me. I was so happy for them. I was so happy for their parents. For their family. And friends. Fuck, I was so happy I was there to help make the night a special one. That sounds lame but suck a dick: it was awesome. The band was fun and the trip down memory lane DVD slideshow projection was sweet. What made it even more enjoyable was that it was a jewish wedding with prayers and challah and horah (sp?) and all sorts of obscure shit that just made me forget the raging fire at the seat of my pants, a raging fire that got stoked every time I took a step. I could go on and on about the wedding but I'll spare y'all.

LOVE
ALEX