Miami Gone Wild! (Ain't No Party Like a Don Simpson Party!)

Eric reached the land of Jeb:
Spring Break is in full force here at a beach I went to today. It's hella hilarious. There are kids up to all sorts of drunken mischief. Didn't realize there were gonna be so many college kids running around. You'd think they'd be talking about college stuff, what they study, career plans, writing a thesis, etc. But no, this is America. And kids just wanna drink 18 packs of beer, do body shots, engage in pre-marital shenanigans, and celebrate youth. I approve.
I left L.A. for New York yesterday morning. Last night, I stayed up all night in New York. I'd forgotten my jacket in my car in L.A. Luckily Paul lent me his. Lombardi's last night? I know that a lot of people like Grimaldi's. A lot of people like John's. They are both great. But for me, my favorite is Lombardi's (which has expanded into two big rooms). Meatballs and red onions decorated the masterpiece baked in their famous coal oven. I've been eating pretty healthy in L.A. and part of that must be attributed to the mediocre pizza. I had 3 slices last night and it's one of the first meals in recent memory where I really took the time to taste the food. The pizza's nothing fancy. Fresh dough, baked 'til crisp, with a sauce that isn't the corn-syrup addled bullshit that crappy pizza places try to pass off on you, mozzarella (that originally comes in a ball form, not a Polly-O block). Block Mozz does have it's place on pizza, and that's at the original Patsy's in East Harlem. Martha's friends were dancing at a club, but we skipped that, went back to the apartment and sorry to dissapoint, watched the DVD of "Arrested Development". Afterwards, I took my bags up to Columbia. The subway got stopped for a police investigation, so to go the five or so miles up to Columbia from downtown took over an hour. Met up with my sister, K, and gave her birthday presents, which she liked. Went off for a little walk with B-Talbs. She's heading to Hong Kong in a few days for what sounds like an amazing trip.
At 3:00am this morning, K and I jumped in a cab to the airport(JFK). They were ready for long delays (due to the storm which has since hit) and had cots set up for people to sleep in if there flights were canceled. I'd been up since 4am PST the previous day and was a little tired. So when Mom & Dad showed up, and we got on the plane, I was ready to fall asleep. It was not to be. Sleeping on airplanes is a little difficult. So when we got off the plane, my eyes stung. Dad went off to get the rental car. (Came back with a enormous white Cadillac.) While waiting for Dad, a man dressed like what I'd imagine a well-dressed pimp to dress like (giant feather in his hat, super-nice suit, alligator shoes, lotsa jewelry) started talking to us (He was waiting for his ride to pick him up). "Isn't America great?" and then he told us his amazing life story which didn't involve any pimping at all. Just working hard, starting a business, and earning money to buy a nice vacation home in Miami, and send his kids to college. Yeah, pretty early on in his story, I felt like a jerk for thinking of his outfit as pimpware. But seriously, if you're a man and you're not Mr. T, wearing more than 5 giant gold rings, bling bling bracelets on each hand, and a Rolex, you look like a pimp. But then again, I don't know that many pimps. Except for back in high school in Westport, Connecticut. Main Street Westport is all about well-dressed pimps maintaining their ladies by J-Crew. (American Pimp is a weird movie by the way. Unless of course you're from Wisconsin, and seeing the Pimp-Of-The-Year awards take place in Wisco is well-worth the price of admission. Paul's from Wisconsin originally so he was amused). You know what they say. Westport ain't no joke. It's a tough 'hood (I mean, compared to Greenwich or Darien). Listening to this self-made guy, I really wanted to start a company. Piso Mojado Industries. Informing People of Wet Floors Since 2005. Dad showed up in the Cadillac. We piled in and drove to the hotel, which is not the one we were gonna originally stay in apparently. This hotel is amazing. There's the nicest gym I've ever seen in a hotel. And it's on the beach. That's enough, but it doesn't stop there. High speed internet, so I can waste time reading jasonmulgrew.com (depressed paralegal website) and jalopnik.com (car site) and missing connections at craigslist (for example: M4W, Phyllis Diller lookalike, ran into you in the bathroom at the Viper Room. You: white-wigged and gorgeous, doing coke off a banister. Me: Bespectacled Mormon with a penchant for gardening and Friars-Club-Roleplaying-In-Bed. Did I miss something? Or did we have a moment? Lady,Holla at your boy, JD)

Showed my Mom the Best-Of Section at citysearch miami. I didn't know Dan Merino had a restaurant. It must be delicious. I mean, if there's one thing Dan Merino knows, it's how to cook a great meal. Have to run and grab dinner (I think we might try the famous crab place. And yes, if they sell a "I Got Crabs in Miami t-shirt, I'll, as expected, buy one for my wardrobe), Eric