Royal Royal Crown Crown, the Henry Kissinger of drinks... (why kissinger? because the R2C2 might look dorky, but means serious business)

Oh my goodness. They came, They drank, They got conquered. 2 words to describe the party: Awe. Some.

Friday night: E-Mags comes over. We make Jell-o shots, only ‘cause neither of us had ever made them and thought the party could only be better with them. It made me feel like I was young again. (There are days lately where 26 feels old). I mean, every wine and cheese party has jell-o shots, right?

Saturday was a day spent prepping for the party. Cleaning my room took hours. Which was worth it. I mean, Beej got a good night sleep, right? (More on that later. By the way, Beej is a gentleman who brought our party to the next level by showing up with a cooler full of liquor bottles. He’s an amazing guy who really was honorary host of the shindig). Saturday morning, I organized my room, built the Ikea nightstand (that had been unbuilt since I bought it way back in August ‘04.), and ate Life Cereal (A not-so quick aside: I fall for sales/deals at the supermarket all the time. If you bought 2 boxes of Life Cereal, it was 2 dollars off or something like that. Now if Life cereal was a brand that I commonly enjoy, maybe this offer would have made sense, but really, if I had to describe this cereal, I’d call it “soggy squares with an interesting taste”. Anyway, after I finish all of my Life Cereal, I’m gonna go back to Grape Nuts. I love Grape Nuts. It’s like eating pebbles in milk. I imagine Grape Nuts is/are animal feed somewhere that somehow became a breakfast cereal. In any case, I’m eating healthier these days. I mean, I wasn’t ever using Mini Chips Ahoy as cereal and calling it a superior Cookie Crisp, or anything like that. But still, better to be having a bowl of cereal over a breakfast burrito. That being said, Sunday after the party, I had chilaquiles for breakfast, which is pretty much scrambled eggs, cheese, and tortilla chips. It’s good hangover food, it’s pretty much the Atkins diet, but with carbs.) Can’t help doing these parenthetical asides; they’re so tempting. (I know I’m not posting a lot lately, but hopefully these 15,000 word posts keep people entertained.) So, Saturday morning is finished. Alex and I get in the car, go grab lunch, and then head to Target. I buy wooden chairs for right inside the front door, so people have somewhere to sit when they put their shoes on (shoes, a funny topic to also be discussed later). We also get super-cheap outdoor foldable camping chairs. They’re built for little people and aren’t particularly comfortable, but perfectly fine for short sits. We then progress to whole foods. Alex insists that people will be impressed if we serve nice cheeses. I restrain myself and don’t buy one called “Stinking Bishop” ‘cause I mean, cheese can smell, but really at a certain point, isn’t something that smells more of earthy decay than fermentation just punishment? I get Dauphinois (imagine a slightly smelly Brie) and Piave. (Alex, I’m sure will have plenty to talk about in regard to his cheese choices). We also buy crackers, baguettes and adequate guacamole (come on Whole Moods, make awesome guacamole for me to serve to my awesome guests. Mushy guacamole just isn’t gonna cut it next time.) Alex goes into overdrive and starts loading up on nice bottles of wine (we’re having a wine and whiskey party) for people who won’t be drinking the Two Buck Chuck. (Nobody drank the Two Buck Chuck. We have nine bottles left. Um, sounds like I’ll be making poached pears and other wine reduction recipes for the next couple of weeks). We head home, unpack, and then hit the road again. This time we head to Trader Joe’s. (Trader Joe’s is a chain of gourmet shops with some super low prices. People shopping act like it’s the greatest thing ever, like it’s the Disney World of supermarkets. I like Trader Joe’s, but come on, it’s no Stew Leonard’s. (Stew’s is a market in Norwalk that is not only the world’s largest dairy store, but also has singing milk cartons, a petting zoo, and free ice cream for every hundred dollars you spend. They have a glass wall through which you can watch cartons move along a conveyor belt before being filled with milk. Norwalk is the original Stew Leonard’s. There are other ones now, but come on, Norwalk is the original). Alex and I buy (Alex buys, I need to pay him back for my share) a box of two Buck Chuck, some food, 4 bottles of Lambic Framboise (fruity belgian beer that everyone should try at least once. You know, like the Octopus fritters at Otafuku on 9th bet. 2nd and 3rd in NYC) and also 2 bottles of Jameson’s (we end up going through 1 and a half bottles. Ain’t no party like a film school party...)
We head home and unpack. Beej comes over to edit with Alex. He says he’s gonna bring some stuff for the party. I have no idea, that he means he’s gonna bring along an open bar on wheels that would be enough for most weddings. Alex heads out to the gym. I keep cleaning my room.
At 8pm we’re ready.
8:30pm - Alex’s friend B shows up to cook some brownies (which people seemed to enjoy a lot! wonder what her recipe is...). I didn’t have one, ‘cause a) I’m a square (see, i even use the term “square) and b) ‘cause people grabbed the brownies like they were free ipods being given out.
B tells me and Alex that we should wear suits. So we do. Grey suits, white shirts, and ties. We look so cool. I of course, quickly stumble and spill wine all over my shirt. Biggest party foul of the night? Not a chance. Bring on the decadence, maestro!
For the next few hours, I’m not looking at the clock. People start arriving at 9. Pretty soon, I realize that most of the people coming are Alex’s classmates. And a lot are actually contributing to the massive amount of beverages in the kitchen. I was hoping some of my ex-workmates would come, but I invited them late (Friday) and also, perhaps there was awkwardness there... Film school kids were all happy to see each other outside the classroom. Sounded like it’s been a long semester and they were all happy to unwind. At one point, someone asked about the Royal Royal Crown Crown (R2C2 from here on out; thanks ME-L for the abbreviation!) and I remembered that this was something I had promised people. I quickly make one for myself. All I can say is, cola wars are about to be changed forever. Pepsi and Coke, watch your rearview. Thanks to me, RC Cola is about to rise up, triumphant. First the hipsters are gonna like it (like PBR) but then everyone is gonna be doing it. Does R2C2 taste the same as every other whiskey&cola drink ever? As expected, Yes. But saying, “Royal Royal Crown Crown” feels so immature and great. For me, it’s this year’s Shirley Temple with Bourbon. Anyway, I posed for a “Birth of the R2C2” picture that is so stupid, my parents will of course, be proud of the work I’m doing in the realm of inventing drinks that college freshman will throw down on those non-Jagermeister, non-18packsofcheapbeer nights... I had many many R2C2's. And I enjoyed each and every one of them.
Two of Alex’s classmates came in costume. One was Batman-esque, like if Batman wasn’t a depressed multi-millionaire living in seclusion, but instead a club kid who also happened to be a superhero. Another came with a giant mascot head of a bear. Everyone at the party, I believe wore the Bearhead at one point. When I put it on, I immediately began roughhousing with Alex’s film partner for next semester at school. Some kuncklehead jumped in at this point and slapped me across the neck when I had the bearhead on, and I got scared/angry. I took off the bear head off and told everyone, “Hands off.” Alex’s film partner immediately apologized as did I for the awkwardness of it. Mo (Moe) is a super nice guy and I feel bad that the drunken goofing around roughhousing had gotten weird, just ‘cause someone else felt like they wanted to slap the bear in the neck. I’m not much for playfighting, but as they say, “when you’ve got the mascot head on...” Um, Mo (Moe), if you read this, you’re a really nice guy and apologies for the weirdness. It wasn’t you. It was the slap to the neck from 3rd party knucklehead.
Anyway, weirdness there quickly subsided. People were dancing! Alex and I had made a mix. I took care of the indie rock/pop and Alex took care of the hip-hop. I berated a classmate of Alex’s who changed the order of the playlist, which at the time I felt guilty for but honestly, you can act however you want at your party, that’s why you throw them, right? The dancing was great. I was standing with people and one of the songs I wrote the lyrics for for my ninja movie came on. I of course, being modest, started telling everyone to be quiet because “I wrote this!” Matt, the neighbor told me he liked the songs I’d done for my ninja movie “Fists of the Saugatuck”. Matt’s roommate, neighbor Nat, came over, dressed cooler than anyone else at the party. She brought a bottle of whiskey to add to the mayhem that was our bottle covered countertop. DM (Writing partner) and E-Mags came. They’re cool. DM and I each drank a bottle of Lambic Framboise (they’re the size of beer bottles). Alex’s classmates who’d met me before, remembered me. Whoops. Sorry I had no clue who some of you were. You film students all look the same to me. You know, light meters around the neck, Andre Bazin books in tow, etc.
It’s hard now to remember a lot of the details of what was going on. Good times. More and more people kept coming. And very few were leaving.
Around 2am, T-Sags comes in. He’d been working all day on the set of a giant movie. It was great to see him. Once the shoot wraps and he’s not working superlong days, I hope to hang with him more frequently.
Around 3:30 people started to filter out. Alex and I told anyone who wanted to could crash at our place or they could take a cab home.
At around 4, Alex goes into his room and there are people asleep (actually, beyond asleep. annihilated.) there. He figures he can sleep on the couch. Nope, someone’s already there. My room? Beej was already asleep on my bed. Alex and I grabbed sleeping bags and camped out... we slept on the floor of the living room. Which is fine. I’m glad these sleepy folks didn’t drive home...
I don’t think Alex or I knew how amazing a time the party would be. Sunday, I wake up at 7am when the house shakes. Was there an earthquake or was I dreaming? I have no idea. So I open a book on Alex’s bookshelf and start reading film theorists’ takes on some famous films (Ratboy, Rollerbabies, The Neverending Story, D.A.R.Y.L., nor The Sicilian Connection (aka Pizza Connection) are mentioned once). At 11am, people start getting up. At 1, we all go out for breakfast. J has one of his shoes but the other one is missing. There’s one lone pink sneaker. Someone left and took one of J’s shoes. I loan him a pair of silly leather hip office shoes. We all go to Eat Well on Sunset. And yes, the chilaquiles are great when you have a hangover the size of a Maybach. Before we sit down, I tells S.H.Lebo all ‘bout the short I shot last summer. Telling the story of “Paralegal”, I realize how much I want to finish the film. I really think it’s gonna be my best film yet. Post-chilaquiles, post-whatever-else-anyon-else-ordered, We go back to the house. I decide to nap. I wake up at 6 and Alex has done all the cleaning. I feel like a bad roommate. Although appreciative. Alex and I go out for Thai food at Palms (The Singing Thai Elvis isn’t on stage, but a soft rock guitarist is. He does some Beatles, luckily no “Long and Winding Road). Alex and I are wise for once and don’t ask for the food to be spicy. Pad Thai turns out to be terrific. I know, pad thai, how boring. But you know, there’s just those days you don’t want spicy goat on a stick or wild boar in coconut milk. Was hopeful that Alex and I would emerge from the weekend, each of us now having a girlfriend. That wasn’t to be. But hey, maybe I should just stop whining and just sign up for J-Date already. And we did have a party that made a lot of people, including us, very happy. It’s great to play host. ‘Though it does get expensive. Maybe next time we should get a corporate sponsor. Don’t tell me, I’m a step ahead of you; I’ve already called RC Cola. They’ll get back to me.

In short, Alex and I had a party. People came thirsty. The thirst was quenched. I’m missing a lot of details. Everyone feel free to post comments to add in what I left out. Classmates of Alex, you’re a supernice bunch of folk. Thanks for coming to our house. Come again soon. We’ve got enough RC to last us months. -Eric