Ko-rea

It's COLD up in this bitch. For real. December in LA is pretty sweet. December in Seoul is stupid. I'm jetlagged and my throat is sore after a clinician shoved a fat tube down my throat to see what's going on in my insides. Yeah, my pops recommended I visit the "KANGNAM BEST CLINIC" while I'm in Korea and get my shit checked out for real. He was a customer---I feel like that's a more accurate description than say patient---while he was here losing 1 stone the past two months. Little did I know that the visit would be the day after my arrival. It took up my whole morning as the clinicians and the physician who runs the show performed a battery of tests that lasted 3 hours. Koreans are very gadgety---my dad's cellphone here gets immaculate TV reception and the shitter's got crazy functionality---so the tests were highly automated. Height/weight/body mass/body fat were measured by this contraption that required me to step on and hold metal. Bone density was calculated by a computer that took some sort of reading from the foot bath my right foot got all wet in (wow that's a crappy sentence.). I also took a "stress test" which was a joke: they just clamped some alligator clips to my ankles and wrists and nuts, and best of all, told me to just close my eyes. Then I had a sonogram: not preggers. It was cool actually: the doc explained what I was looking at on the screen: indeed, the word "spleen" as I had assumed from prior visits to Korea does have more than one syllable. Then they injected some glucose into my vein, told me to nap for a bit, then woke me up, sprayed some wicked strong analgesic at the back of my throat, dosed me with some more anasthesia, and proceeded to shove said fat tube down my throat. That sucked but I was a bit dazed that it wasn't so bad. That was basically my morning.
I also had an afternoon but I'm too tired from the jetlag to continue.

LOVE
ALEX