EMMYS

So last night I dipped toes back into the brackish waters of cater/waitering for about the first time in a month and a half and boy oh boy was it hell. There were oh I don't know 200 of us working the Emmys, which judging by the ridiculous amount of security, could easily have been mistaken for something important and serious like a G8 summit. In fact, the shuttle bus that took us from the parking center to the Shrine had a police escort and roads were blocked off with cement dividers. Definitely Al Qaeda proof because you know, the Emmys are such a huge blip on their radar.
There were a few familiar faces from the summer, but mostly, at staff meal, it seemed more like a refugee camp. A refugee camp of cultists given that all of us were wearing the same ugly beige nehru jackets. Everyone was handed out the same brown bag dinner. Weird.
The job lasted from 4:45-12:30. For a good 6 hours of that, I was on my feet, literally running ovals of food from the enormous temp kitchen to the glitzy, super dark Governor's Ball, clearing plates of half finished food, checking out celebrities, and at the end of the event, hauling 50 pound bags of trash up and down the Shrine, lifting and counting huge racks of dishes, hauling more trash, moving centerpieces from one side of the room to another (3 times no less!), and generally just getting p.o.ed. The most tiring and breakneck paced catering event I've ever worked. I sweated through my underwear and pants: the ass chafe was definitely on.
The Governor's Ball was very 80s but I don't think that was intentional. The color of the evening was black; the style neon Art Deco. The entertainment was an I-don't-know-what called the "10 Tenors," 10 Australians who sang really crappy pop songs choreographed to equally crappy dance routines. They were the worst tenors I've ever heard and they were so fruity that I thought they couldn't possibly be serious, that this indeed was kitsch of the worst kind. But I guess seeing some celebrities made the service part of the evening less unbearable. (favorite sightings: a very pregnant very stunning Heidi Klum and Sandra Oh's parents! GO KOREA!) Seated at my table were mostly I think behind the scenes producers and execs: no Geena Davis who by the way is more beautiful than Sela Ward who in turn is more beautiful than Eva Longoria who in turn is more beautiful than that fat guy from Lost whom I got to see eat a lot a lot of food. (I wish I had TV so I could write more about their talents rather than simply judge their looks, but let's get real, who cares about talent in Hollywood anyway?)
The food: shrimp cocktail, beef wellington, peach tart w/ ice cream. It all looked fine, but not when you see it all laid out row upon row in the kitchen. When we went in to bring out the shrimp, the kitchen reeked of seafood, seafood gone bad. Thousands of steamed shrimp: gross. Thousands of rare beef filets: gross. Thousands of melting peach tarts and ice cream: gross. I'm still amazed out how caterers are able to cater such huge events: really amazing, marvelous even.
When I got home, I felt like I had been jumped. This morning, I couldn't get out of bed and go to class. Back was sore from all the improper lifting and my whole upper body was numb from all sorts of carrying of stupid items like VOSS water. I officially hate VOSS. What arrogant assholes those marketers are.
I'll probably cater/waiter again, but not the Emmys.

LOVE
ALEX